SOS 2000 International Conference
"Sober in Tinsel Town" Triumphs!
by Jim Christopher, SOS Founder
Jim Christopher
Trish took her role as a member of the SOS conference committee to heart perhaps more than any of us other members; she, her husband Scott and their children secured a hotel room in the area in order to contribute enormously to the success of this project. Prior to the "big SOS weekend" Scott and Trish alternately attended the SOS Conference committee planning meeting, while the other tended to the kids back home.
Trish's brother, a professional piano tuner, arrived very early on the morning of Friday, August 11, in order to tune a baby grand piano graciously contributed by Field's Pianos. Dr. Ron Crane donated piano moving costs for Friday evening's SOS reception featuring entertainment legend and SOS International Advisory Board member, Steve Allen for his comic and musical offerings.
The Center for Inquiry-West was packed to capacity. Conference attendees and other admirers of Mr. Allen's work and career - well over 100 people; some standing in the aisles - converged on our meeting hall. Mr. Allen stayed for a book signing of a selection of the 53 titles he has authored over the years.
Trish's mom created and furnished all of the spectacular floral arrangements visible throughout our three-day event. Trish had special "SOS Conference 2000" pencils created for all conference participant packets and she and Scott had resurrected an old "SOS" sign, used over a decade ago at one of the early SOS meetings; the old wooden sign is visible in some of the conference photos in this issue of the SOS newsletter. Trish and her family also supplied scrumptious baked goods for the reception Friday evening and Saturday's all day and evening event. A dozen other offerings were contributed by Trish and Scott, including tablecloths and numerous conference necessities. Tirelessly Trish reminded me "This is all about sobriety, Jim, and, after all, SOS saved my life!"
Larry, Luisa, and Coco brought coffee pots, foodstuff, kitchen accessories, extra bedding, (supplemented by two fold-away beds from Trish and Scott) for out-of-towners lodging at the humble home of yours truly (more about that later), and numerous other items, including a large bottle of spring water, complete with dispenser. Larry, a professional photographer, snapped photos throughout the proceedings. Luisa and Coco performed numerous invaluable tasks during the conference's 3-day span.
Trish is the quintessential "SOS friend," as explained at the Sunday SOS Conference business meeting by yours truly. Here's the term and the phenomenon as exemplified by Trish and countless others who've recovered via SOS: An SOS friend, I've observed over the years since the inception of SOS, (I started SOS in 1985 with an article appearing in "FREE INQUIRY," the world's leading humanist magazine, and with precursor SOS meetings originally referred to simply as "secular sobriety groups or SSG, in homes, until the first meeting held in a public meeting place in North Hollywood, CA, November, 1986) may be an individual who starts or attends an SOS meeting (or not) long term (or briefly) and values SOS for having "been there" when needed.
Typically, many SOS members are "free thinkers" and "non-joiners" and, as I shared at the Sunday business meeting, folks like Trish may not attend SOS meetings regularly after they reclaim their lives. They stay sober and "get on with their lives." Through the process of the deliberate "leaderless" SOS approach, they become the leaders of their own lives. Some choose to help with SOS meetings; some choose to not do so, but most SOS friends choose at least to "check in" with SOS from time to time. Many SOS friends stay connected via the SOS newsletter and the SOS Web sites.
They may be regular financial contributors to SOS (as is Olin, who donated a substantial sum to offset Conference expenditures, so that SOS could charge a very low fee for the event). They may help with various SOS projects such as SOS prisoner outreach, (as do Duaine and Steve in Dallas and Austin, Texas). My point made at the business meeting was and is this: since the SOS self-empowerment approach allows folks to reclaim their own power, SOS friends tend to develop an individual "internal locus of control," rather than succumb to "control freaks," a common phenomenon in the world of recovery. I discovered this early in my own sobriety over 22 years ago: "group gurus" (or "bleeding deacons" and "step nazis" as they were then called) were waiting to pounce on the vulnerable newly sober. I caught on to this and backed away into mental health. Had the Internet existed in those days, perhaps a Web site might have been listed as "unhinged.con" (more about "SOS friends" later).
SOS conference committee member George, a gregarious, lovable chap, arranged for a professional caterer (a personal friend of his) to "do dinner" for us in grand buffet style Saturday evening for an extraordinarily reasonable cost. George has a long history of serving on various SOS committees and, in his capable hands, things get done! He handled Saturday's tasty luncheon, rushing from the conference site mid-day to a local discount food retailer to retrieve our pre-ordered, ready-to-serve cold cuts, salads, and fruit platters. George also performed numerous tasks through the conference, including "working the door" (taking conference registration forms). On Sunday, when most had collapsed from exhaustion or left for home, George stayed to return the Center for Inquiry-West to its original state, vacuuming, moving tables, stacking chairs.
Ed Batis, an SOS International Advisory Board member and SOS activist, served the conference committee by co-hosting the Saturday presentations (along with Steve from SOS Europe) and supplying fancy name tags.
Among other tasks, in addition to committee members' contributions, long-time SOS activist Tom Hill, via his computer savvy, secured several four-star hotel rooms for SOS out-of-town presenters at a fraction of the regular cost, and helped with other tasks throughout the three-day event.
Saturday morning, August 12, after SOS conference registrants had checked in, they each received name tags and conference packets, consisting of a four-page program, various bio sheets, additional conference information sheets, all five SOS brochures, the SOS Group Leaders Guide Booklet, a yellow legal pad, an issue of the SOS International Newsletter, and a souvenir "SOS International Conference 2000" pencil.
I bounded onto the stage at 9:00 a.m. with a conference welcome to all and with a special announcement: the conference committee had unanimously agreed to dedicate our conference to the memory of Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick, founder of Women for Sobriety. Jean had recently passed away at her home in Pennsylvania (see a tribute to her in this issue of the SOS International Newsletter).
The contents of our printed program starts is here.
Amazingly, we were able to cover most of the material presented in the printed program, with one exception: the family panel "Sober, With Children" (to be presented by two married couples in recovery (who were also SOS conference committee members: Scott and Trish; Larry and Luisa) was, unfortunately, not presented due to time constraints.
Out-of-towners started arriving as early as Wednesday. Some were from other cities in California, other states and, indeed, other countries. On Thursday evening and Sunday evening I housed a couple of early arrivals and late departers. We had lots of great fellowship! Fortunately, my apartment is located near in the LAX International airport area and is only a short distance from the Center for Inquiry-West.
The total SOS Conference 2000 registration count exceeded eighty persons, flying in from Britain, Belgium, Washington, Virginia, New York, Massachusetts, Texas, and Colorado. There were folks here from across Southern California: San Diego, Lancaster, San Bernardino, Glendale, Sepulveda, Calabasas, Van Nuys, Sherman Oaks, Marina del Rey, Simi Valley, Pasadena, Orange, Brea, Huntington Beach, Redondo Beach, Manhattan Beach, Murrieta, Beverly Hills, Sylmar, West Hills, Westchester, Venice, Santa Monica, and Los Angeles.
What follows are SOS Conference reflections by Malcolm Rees, SOS Britain (London) and by Steve, SOS Europe (Belgium). Steve is the Web master of www.soseurope.org; his coverage of the SOS Conference is reprinted from that Web site.
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Sober in Tinseltown
by Malcolm Rees
Six thousand miles there and six thousand miles back for a few days talking about sobriety. Well, I'll have you know, it was worth it.
Just arriving in sub-tropical California with the sunshine, fresh fruits and salads (not to mention blueberry pancakes) is bound to cheer up even this sullen Londoner. I'm used to grey skies, drizzle and long English faces so LA is a bit of a culture shock. But please note, there's no need to keep on telling me to "have a nice day" . . . I'm having a wonderful day without needing your exhortations!
Arriving early for the Conference, Jim "enabled" me to help out with last minute rushing about. In fact, everything was in hand; just ferrying people about and buying the fresh food was required. All the rest just came together as people did what they had promised and arrived with what they had promised. The last few hours before kick-off saw the Center for Inquiry-West become a floral, welcoming yet business-like SOS International Conference venue.
Of course, all the work on the programme, the speakers, the information packs, video and sound system had been expertly carried out in the previous weeks. As conference goers, all we had to do then was to participate, to listen, to join in, learn and question. The programme was demanding and varied, it ranged from the sad news of Jean Kirkpatrick's death through the highly theatrical exposition of Dr. Kenneth Blum of his work to the day-to-day ways of keeping sober. Every presentation had something to say to each of us. Every presentation shed more light on how the rational person can find ways to understand and deal with an addiction him or herself.
But it was more than that . . . Sober in Tinseltown was a superb example of what an SOS meeting can be. The participants were all friendly; respectful of others views, helpful and just so good to be with. The combination of serious thought and debate was coupled with fun and good humor. That's what SOS is like. Twelve thousand miles . . . thanks to Jim and SOS . . . it was marvelous, I don't regret an inch.
Malcolm Rees
SOS London, UK
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